So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
