I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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