Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
