Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You were trust falling into bushes
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
