She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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