he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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