Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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