Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
one two three fourrrrnication!
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
