is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
