Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
