U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
