i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
