I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
