I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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