so let's talk penis.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
you inspire me to be a worse person
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
