Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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