If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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