is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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