Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I want her autograph on my taint
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
