I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
