woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
