this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
