yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
