420 ftw
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Randomize
