Pappa wants mamma naked
I wish i was in the wii world.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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