that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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