The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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