I got chris browned last night
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
