Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
