next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
