You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Your cock deserves a montage
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
