Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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