I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
