she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
