to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
