We need to rekindle our bromance
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
