I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
