If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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