Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
