We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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