11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
