this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Less talking, more tequila
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
