Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
