Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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