I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
