R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
