Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
