we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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