What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
