I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
