For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It's shark week go big or go home
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
