Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
