dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
