Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
