Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
