Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
