yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Come share oat with me in your robe
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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