At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
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