Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize