Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I think I sprained my soul last night
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
