Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
