Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
