he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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