Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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