spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
