we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
