Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
