you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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