So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
