Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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