Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Randomize
