i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Barsexuality is the new black.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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