if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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