just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
