his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
